In life and in therapy, there is one topic that I am drawn
to, and that is parenting and its impact on children.
It may be the most interesting to me because it’s the most
applicable to me. I am in the beginning stages of child-rearing my two sons, and
it’s not easy for me. I honestly never wanted to be a parent. I knew my
weaknesses and faults, and I felt those weren’t suitable for parenting. I’m
lazy. I’m selfish. I don’t like loud and/or repetitive noise. I’m not a good
housekeeper. Or cook. I could go on and on… and on.
God, on the other hand, had a different plan in mind. Just a
couple weeks after our two year anniversary, my husband and I found out we were
going to expand our family. Again, honestly, it was well into my pregnancy that
I even felt excited about the news. In fact, it was at my 20 week appointment,
when I saw him on the ultrasound monitor, that I changed my perspective. I am going
to be a mom! And to a son! which was very important to me because I feel that
the raising of boys is getting the attention that it deserves. I had a duty to
raise him to be a leader in the church, a good husband, a gentleman, and good
provider.
But I’m lazy. And selfish. And a bad cook. How am I ever
going to raise him that way that I know he should be raised as a Christian and
therapist? It’s difficult. He isn’t naturally a good eater; he doesn’t like
books or learning in a structured way; he doesn’t sing so I can’t teach him
through song; it’s difficult to say the least. And it’s almost 100% my fault. I
don’t make him sit down and eat, he stays up late with me and is tired in the
mornings, and he has an electronics addiction.
I write all of this to say, parenting isn’t easy. It takes a
lot of consciousness, patience, and even trial-and-error. I am making small
goals with him and with myself to correct my faults. We are eating more at the
kitchen table. I am making him go to bed earlier by waking him up early that
morning so he will be tired, not letting him take naps late in the day, or
simply making him follow my direction because I know what is best for him,
which is good sleep hygiene. Again, it’s not easy. It may take a few
breakdowns (by him and me), but I know in the long run it’s for the better.
(Now we have another little boy. He’s a little easier
because he loves food and to sing and books. But as his personality is
developing, I realize I have different challenges than with my firstborn.)
This is all we can strive for right?!
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